Transform the Word

Forgiveness isn’t for them… Its for YOU!

Forgiveness can sometimes feel difficult to grasp. Often, we think of it as letting someone off the hook for their wrongdoing or allowing them to escape punishment. On top of that, we tend to entangle forgiveness with emotions like anger and hurt, which clouds its true purpose.
Ephesians 4:31-32 reminds us:
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Life is full of moments where we are called to forgive others for their wrongs. But forgiveness becomes challenging when we confuse the act of forgiving with the emotions tied to it. As Paul teaches in Ephesians, we must let go of all bitterness, anger, and malice—not just a portion of it. When we release those emotions, we gain clarity, making forgiveness possible.
A common objection is, “But I don’t want to forgive them! They don’t deserve it—they haven’t even apologized.” This reaction is understandable, but it misses the point: forgiveness isn’t for the other person—it’s for you.
Matthew 6:14-15 emphasizes:
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Notice that it doesn’t say to forgive only when someone repents. It says to forgive when someone sins against you. This shifts our perspective. Forgiveness is not about meeting worldly conditions like apologies or remorse; it’s about reflecting the forgiveness Jesus showed us. When Christ died on the cross, He forgave us before we even existed or asked for it. His forgiveness was extended freely, though the benefits of it—eternal life—require repentance and faith.
This can seem confusing. If Jesus already forgave us, why do we need to repent? Forgiveness doesn’t erase consequences. It’s about not holding sin against someone and keeping it from interfering with love. Repentance shows humility and a desire for grace, which God honors by releasing us from punishment.
For example, if my son disrespects me or my wife, we forgive him instantly because we love him. However, if he admits his wrongdoing and asks for forgiveness, we respond with grace and may reduce any discipline he would have otherwise faced.
Forgiveness works similarly. When we forgive someone, we stop holding their actions over their heads or using their past to shame them. Forgiveness isn’t about erasing the wrong; it’s about freeing ourselves from the pain and anger it causes. Holding onto a grudge can consume us, leading to actions and words that don’t reflect God’s love. But when we forgive, we release that burden, allowing God’s peace to fill us and demonstrating His love and grace to others—whether they “deserve” it or not.
A Call to Reflect
Take a moment to examine your mindset about forgiveness. Are you holding onto bitterness, waiting for someone to repent before you let go of the hurt? Consider how Christ forgave us unconditionally. True forgiveness frees you from the chains of anger and pain, opening your heart to healing and peace. Let go of the emotions tied to the wrong and trust God to take care of the rest. In doing so, you reflect His love and grace to the world.